Nthr Yllw Lmp

She thought she found her yellow sun, but she was wrong...
The bright was as bright as the yellow sun, so she went there...
She was lingering along the yellow lamp and hoping that it was indeed the yellow sun
She was hoping that she doesn't have to be another fireflies that died around the yellow lamp

Funny how love can....

Days has passed.. Tears after tears, over things, her feelings, his thoughts, her worries, his defenses, the mistress.....
Funny how love can make her falls apart... Ironic yet it was a beautiful thing.... Her hopes and dreams were shattered, given away, taken out.... And she was torn into pieces.. He said it was a mistake, he said it was history, he said let's move on..... but the mistress didn't..

Thank You for 2010

Inspired by a friend, I've made a 'thank you list 2010'..

A great and tough year, full of challenges and blessings, which I learnt more that those were the things that keeps me going until now..

So here are those things which I'm grateful to have or experienced this year...

Welcome!

Here I am! At my new 'house'... He3x....

It's time like really the time to move on.... Let's not again write on the old page, right? I've got new journey now to live on, so yeah, let me tell you about that..... :)

So welcome! :)

At Last by Etta James

At last, my love has come along
My lonely days are over
And life is like a song
Oh, yeah, at last
The skies above are blue
My heart was wrapped up in clovers
The night I looked at you
I found a dream that I could speak to
A dream that I can call my own
I found a thrill to rest my cheek to
A thrill that I have never known
Oh, yeah when you smile, you smile
Oh, and then the spell was cast
And here we are in heaven
For you are mine
At last

Thank You for the dance last nite, love.... with 'At Last' - Beyonce @ Cadillac Records.... Unforgattable indeed....

Let's hope for the future... I love you...

So....

'Love makes you dependent or incredibly more confident in what you do'

'Stuck in this country, either you get less stupid or you break all the norms and be grand'

'Stay inside the box or you get the hell outta here'

'3 weeks... is all you've got... before summer'

choices.......

ends with

'you're too smart just to be like this.....'

Mengenai Berbagi

Berbagi dalam hidup... Itu mungkin salah satu alasan juga kenapa manusia dibilang sebagai makhluk sosial, dalam hidupnya salin berbagi. Well, most of the living things on earth juga berbagi koq. Keq3x.... Tapi kalau manusia memang dalah hal berbagi memang lebih banyak sih, dari hal yang nyata sampai abstrak. Semandiri-mandirinya manusia, pasti mereka secara sadar atau tidak akan melakukan hal 'berbagi' dalam bentuk apapun itu, ke sekitarnya, di pergaulan, keluarga, dan lain-lainnya.

Sudah beberapa tahun belakangan ini, gw terbiasa untuk mandiri, walaupun gw selalu membiasakan diri untuk berbagi, and most of it to my family dan beberapa teman terdekat gw. Tapi kalau dibilang berbagi kepada seseorang yang dekat, seseorang yang gw sayangi dan mungkin gw cintai, agak sulit juga yah.

Saat terkantuk-kantuk...

Sungguh yah, setiap harinya, memang ternyata saya bisa lebih sabar setiap harinya. Sabar dan semakin menyayanginya. Keq3x....Satu hal yang saat ini saya sedang pelajari kembali mengenai suatu hubungan yang memang baiknya adalah hubungan yang dewasa, gak lagi main-main. Saya saat ini gak muna lagi koq, ternyata saya ingin membina suatu hubungan yang stabil dan dewasa. Ya, saya ingin membina sebuah keluarga.

Dari segala hal menyebalkan mengenai membangun keluarga, ternyata dalam hati kecil, saya masih mengingininya. Lucu yah. Walaupun ada sepupu saya tercinta yang saat ini sedang ada di negara bir hitam, yang selalu menekankan, bahwa tujuan akhir dari hidupnya bukanlah menikah. Jadi buat dia, pernikahan memang tidak membawa pengaruh apa2. Well, cousin, that was exactly what I was thinking like... few years ago. Sampai saya bertemu sebuah keluarga kecil, dimana suaminya adalah seorang sutradara gokil dan cukup mempunyai ego tinggi, sedangkan istrinya adalah seorang dokter yang baik hati dan sukses menyelesaikan spesialisasinya. Kudos! Mereka sudah mempunya 2 anak perempuan yang lucu dan menggemaskan. Sang ayah yang jatuh cinta abis-abisan kepada sang ibu dan ke dua anaknya membuat saya melihat kembali inti dari pernikahan itu sendiri.

Between the Good Night and the Dinner

Jadi pagi ini saya memulai rutinitas yang sudah lama saya tidak lakukan, yaitu, Saat teduh... Itu semacam renunngan pagi, membaca alkitab, berdoa, mendengarkan lagu2 rohani, dan saya berhasil melakukannya secara penuh.... :) ternyata memang banyak godaan sebelum melakukannya. Thanks God, I made it. Terima kasih juga kepada pangeran saya yang sudah mengingatkannya.... Well, I thanked God for reminding me through him :)

Saat ini gw lagi di kantor, mencoba peruntungan dengan koneksi internet kantor yang suka naik turun, dan itu cukup menyebalkan sih sebenarnya. Keq3x... Tapi apa daya, males juga kemana2 kalau gak diajak. Ha3!!! kenapa gak pulang? karena semalam kencannya cukup telat selesainya dan mau pulang naik taksi koq yah mahal yah? Ha3!! saya lagi dalam masa pengiritian abis2an nih, Gokil! Gw cuman bisa berharap duit gw bisa balik secepatnya, karena memang gw bener-bener salah perhitungan, yang akibatnya entah berapa bulan ke depan gw bisa balik lagi ke semula. Ihix... Help me Lord....

Blah! Pernikahan?

YES!!! Saya termakan omongan sendiri.... Keq3x.... Ternyata memang susah yah mundur dari tantangan sendiri.

Kencan dengan sang pria ambon bertato dan berambut keriting, dan memang dia itu memang sudah menangkap hati saya. Jiah! Gaya banget sih gw...

Anyways, I've spent already several times with him, dinner, watching movies, over some drinks, and a night at his house..... The more I know him, the more I put my interest to him.. In a way, he's different that the most guy I like or even love, perhaps for me, he's unpredictable... That's curious me a lot!

Talking over many things with him makes me have to prepare many topics, so I would see him or talk to him. Sometimes I don't know what to say, because, uhm... sometimes I got cold feet whenever I met him.. I'm so afraid that I couldn't talk or whatever... gggrrr...

The Need To Move On

I realize, I need to move on, to be a better me, to have better life, and just make one step forward ahead....

SO, I've been busy again this last week, handling the other project from the other office, with one of the clients that flirts with me, on the phone! blah! I don't like him, because from the very beginning, I already drew the line between clients and me, but that doesn't mean my 'nice' attitude should be interpreted as 'I'm flirting with you so you can flirt with me', HELL NOO!!!! and i'm beginning to act not nice to him, but nice to his partners and bosses. Yes, and that doesn't feel right. :( Oh dear God, help me...

UPDATING!!!

It's been like ages I didn't update my blog. Oh well, because twitter and plurk, I really couldn't write anything more than 140 characters. LOL... So, here we go...

What recently happened with me? Not much, I've been living as 'unofficially' single for few months now, and somehow, I think I'm preparing myself to be officially single. It's hard though, but I have to try, love can be unrealistic, but now I have to learn to be realistic, to use my logic. That's hard... he3x...

What have I been doing? I've been doing many things, from my real job to my side jobs that would take my morning sleep... yeah, been lack of sleep almost 1 month, because I finished my side job in the morning, and most of them are post productions. Oh well, I'm having fun though with it. :)